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We encountered this sad, sad dog while roaming around Baltimore last night. Either those metal bars were cramping his style or he was depressed about my incomplete thesis. At least the thesis situation will be under control by the end of the summer, albeit later than I had hoped. I came home last week with grand plans to write a first draft by the beginning of June, but those plans quickly succombed to weddings and wedding planning. I’m not concerned. Yet.

We had an excellent dinner last night at the Thai Landing in Baltimore, during which I learned an important lesson in ordering Thai: white guys cannot be trusted with spicy food. My previous four attempts at ordering spicy Thai dishes, each more aggressive than the last, had rendered me skeptical of all “spicy” menu claims, so I went for broke and ordered a five-star dish (”For Thai nationals and masochists”) this time around. Jason even helped me by warning the waitor that my Drunken Noodles had “better be” hot. They were. At the end of the meal, however, the waiter dealt a humiliating blow; not trusting my tolerance, he had only served me four and a half stars. What discrimination! When Mark becomes a powerful senator, I will ask him to sponsor a Spicy Food Equal Rights bill, offering white men from coast to coast the five-star experience. Until then, we can only dream.

My UIUC address (dimock at uiuc.edu) will soon be closed by the University’s overzealous sysadmins. From now on, please e-mail me at:
glen at aerogeek.org
(’@’ sign spelled out to throw off the SPAM bots).

With McDonald’s on the decline and the recent proliferation of healthy alternatives like Quizno’s and Subway, I have been fearing the end of fast food as we know it. Then I saw a sign yesterday advertising “Burgers for Breakfast” at Burger King, restoring my faith in America. Not only is the fast food industry alive and well, but the geniuses–dare I say, American Heroes–in Research and Development have now conquered the previously-impenetrable morning hours with their advanced beef marketing technology. Never again will American consumers be forced to subsist on grain and fruit products between the hours of 8 and 11; Hallelujah, processed beef reigns supreme!

What, then, shall we eat for lunch? Fortuately, Hardee’s recently introduced the “Thickburger”, featuring up to two thirds of a pound of Angus beef. Still not convinced? Check out the new Thickburger ad campaign, shot in black-and-white, documentary style and featuring hip-looking young adults discussing the current state of fast-food hamburgers the way Colin Powell might discuss WMD in Iraq. The answer to this crisis is, of course, MORE BEEF. With phrases such as “juice dribbling all down the side” and extreme close-ups of glistening beef patties, projectile vomiting will definitely not be your first impulse. Arteries still operating at less than 85% blockage? Try the optional chili and bacon toppings.

For dinner, try Wendy’s new line of “Grease Trap” soups.

Matrix 2: Sold out.
A Mighty Wind: Loved it.

Finished semester, still writing thesis. Coming back to Maryland on Tuesday. Sold AirTran drink coupons on eBay for $7.50 to sister; expecting her intent was to leave humorous feedback. Preparing for job in June (know any good UML/OOD books?).

Wishing the Cartoon Network would feature a Road Runner marathon. Rachel’s name: Topographus Cluelessius.

For all the resentment caused by hopeless confinement in apartment A, the cats enjoy certain freedoms that we humans must do without. For example, Lili apparently has no compunctions about sticking her head through the miniblinds to watch a very drunk couple who are currently having a near-physical fight just outside my window. Maybe the cat will fill me in on the details when it’s over.