Rachel, Otto, Lili and I are coming home today for Thanksgiving! Illinois gives us an entire week off, but sadly I must put this laptop to use on class projects during the break. I’ll be in Maryland until Tuesady, at which point I’m going to visit family in Massachusetts. Look for me in College Park on Sunday or Monday…
| For reasons that are as yet unclear, our official Aero Design pilot has decided not to participate this year, rendering us pilotless. So please let us know if you’re an expert R/C test pilot who can’t turn down a free trip to California. Otherwise, our plane (Green Emu) may be piloted by me or someone even less qualified. The last time I flew an R/C airplane, I remember having to use a big stick to dislodge the wings from a tree. Naturally, I upgraded to the real thing several years later.
Rachel and I went dancing this weekend, which was a first for us. To answer roommate-Dave’s question, no it wasn’t swing or slow-dancing. We went to a bona fide club with Eurotrash club music and scantly-clad sorority girls. And despite my description, it was actually fun. We may even go again. The Rev. Horton Heat (a band, not a minister) is playing there after Thanksgiving. Other exciting weekend events: the Terps extended their winning streak, and we bought a trashcan with a foot pedal. I mentioned the second item as an excuse to post this photo of Lili reflected in the can’s sleek, new surface. |
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Um, no one told me about this alleged “dancing” that goes on in Illinois when I was there. What’s this all about? I thought all there was to do in your town was going to the movies with the entire town high school.
Glen, please be careful when dancing - I hope that you’re relatively sober. I’ve seen the effect of alcohol on you when you’re standing still (in a bathroom doorway, no less), so I can imagine the effect when you’re in motion.
And please take pictures of the scantily-clad sorority girls. It’s very cold over here…
Angela: The dancing experiment was inspired by our friend in Ireland, who has recently taken a liking to Eurotrash club music (shhh, you didn’t hear it from me). Oh wait, nevermind. We all remember when Eiffel 65’s “Blue” was the song of the week during junior year.
EYC: There’s nothing smooth about my dancing to begin with, so I don’t think alcohol could make it any worse. And doesn’t terpidiots have enough sorority party pictures already?
I heartily recommend heading to the Rev. Heat concert, if simply for the experience of seeing the crowd. There aren’t too many places where you’ll find grizzled ranchhands rubbing elbows with spikey-haired skaters. Plus, you’re almost sure to witness a good ol’ fashioned hoedown.
Terp Idiots? I only know of my private stash; it’s a good thing my dear cousins are Kappa Deltas and always need help moving in.
My new laptop arrived today, having traveled from Taiwan via Anchorage. Hey, it’s exciting for me. Let the thesis-writing begin…
specs?
Gee, I thought you’d never ask! It’s a Gateway 450X: P4M 1.7 Ghz, 512 MB RAM, 30 gig HD, DVD drive, 15″ XGA display (the only downside), weighs only 6 lbs. Runs the essentials just fine: Photoshop, Visual Studio and Flight Simulator. Cost me only an arm.
Why did you get it?
Your talk about apple crisps didn’t do it, but that bowl of apples in the background sure does look good.
Oh, nice lap top too.
We should have a new toy conversation. Link goes to my latest purchase.
Why did I get a laptop?
1) My home computer freezes up constantly (it’s a hardware problem).
2) It’s nice to work on my thesis and other stuff in the library.
3) I can use it for presentations.
4) It’s cool.
K, have the “I’ve lost my MOJO” jokes gotten old yet?
Glen, don’t forget, laptops make theses 65% better. I think that was proven at Princeton too.
Mike–Believe it or not, you’re the first. Any Austin Powers-related “mojo” jokes henceforth shall not be tolerated.
Laptops are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they’re totally nerdy, but on the other hand, laptops are amazingly useful.
I heard there was this one guy with a laptop at a coffeeshop, and when someone made a comment about trackpads the laptop got up and TOTALLY ATE HIS FACE.
The apple crisp was a success! Angela gave helpful pointers, but it was all me. Well, mostly me. Check out my special report entitled “Baking for Men” for details.
After a little apple crisp, we saw 8 Mile. The movie itself was much better than I expected, although I hope Eminem doesn’t try to launch an acting career. We just should have seen it in another theatre, at another time: Worst. moviegoing. experience. ever. The place was full of high-schoolers, and I’m almost certain we were the oldest people in there. During the course of the movie, the people behind us had a verbal fight, received two cellphone calls (one was from the boy’s mother, who wanted to know when he would be home), left and came back a few times, and screamed witty comments throughout. Ugh.
Anyway, Angela has left. Back to work!
I’m sitting here at work completing my latest assignment: writing out step-by-step instructions for how to do my job, so that the underpaid invertebrate who replaces me when I am laid off in a few months will know what to do. This task is somewhat unsettling and, not surprisingly, my motivation to complete it is low. But wait!!! During a quick break from my toils, I stumble upon the step-by-step guide “Baking for Men.” Suddenly I am inspired anew. I only wish I could include similar photos and comments in the job instructions I’m writing…
Hankering for some homemade dessert but the woman won’t make it for you? Don’t risk your manhood with some Martha Stewart cookbook; bake it the manly way. In 16 easy steps, I’ll explain how to prepare a delicious but manly Apple Crisp - from scratch.
Ingredients:
Bag of apples
Some flour
Some white sugar and some brown sugar
1 high-quality beer
Cinnamon
Stick of butter or lard
Instructions:
| 1) Start with some apples. Seven will do, but it’s better to assert your manhood by picking and carrying several bushels at your local orchard. Wash and peel. |
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| 2) Core, quarter, and cut the apples into dainty slices. For best results, use a bowie knife. Seed-spitters may wish to leave the cores intact. |
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| 3) Carefully arrange the apple slices in a greased (use butter, not WD40!) cake pan, as shown. In the absence of a cake pan, you may heap them onto a piece of aluminum foil. Remember to grease the aluminum foil with an edible lubricant. |
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| 4) Throw the flour, sugar and butter into a mixing bowl. Taking a knife in each hand, split the butter into small chunks using criss-cross motions. Occasionally mix the butter chunks with the flour and sugar to create crumb topping. When the knives are no longer effective, begin using a fork. If you don’t have a mixing bowl, a small oil pan will do (be sure to rinse it out first). |
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| 5) At this point, you will begin to question your manliness. Don’t worry, this is normal. Place the bowl from Step 4 in the refrigerator - you may need to temporarily remove a few beers to make room - and head to the weight room. Do three military press sets, three power squat sets, and finish it off with some good-sized dumbell reps. Your body’s testosterone should now have returned to normal levels. |
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| 6) Sprinkle cinnamon over the daintily-arranged apple slices. Real men may choose to substitute cayenne pepper. |
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| 7) Spoon water over your creation. If this seems a little fruity, consider spitting instead. The oven will kill any germs. |
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| 8) Cover the apples in brown sugar. Hint: for every handful sprinkled on the apples, it’s best to eat one straight from the bag. |
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| 9) Remove your crumb topping from the fridge (don’t forget to replace the beer!) and dump it all over the apples and stuff. If you’re hungry, you may eat a few of the larger butter chunks at this point. For best results, roll them around in the brown sugar first. |
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| 10) You’re almost done! Heat your oven to 350 degrees and bake for 45 minutes. For those men unfamiliar with the operation of an oven, a microwave will suffice. Warning: because of the metal pan, this step will produce spectacular effects but will consume 7 or 8 microwaves. |
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| 11) While your apples are baking, grab that beer and get to work. For best results, perform this step while watching a lumberjack competition on ESPN2. |
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| 12) Check the clock. Have 45 minutes passed? If so, proceed to the next step. Otherwise, repeat Step 11. |
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| 13) Remove the apple crisp from the oven or microwave. Since this is your first time baking, there is a good chance that something will have gone horribly awry. If so, proceed to Step 14. On the other hand, if your crisp has turned a golden brown, you may have missed your calling in life. Skip to Step 15. |
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| 14) You burned something, right? Not to worry; grab a hammer and go to town on a defective air conditioner or your old, broken-down car. If you’re lacking motivation, consider repeating Step 11. |
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| 15) Serve and … |
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| 16) … enjoy! |
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I had just finished some leftover apple crisp bought from an orchard–
unfortunately not home-made–when I came up to check out e-mail and
subsequently your website (linked from your Dad’s message). Great
story/recipe.
Looking forward to seeing you. I should have sent my “pie alert” e-mail
to you as I did the rest of the family. “I’ll explain later.”
Jan
If you REALLY wanted to be manly, you’d drink the beer that you took out of the fridge.
You’ll notice that step 11 can be repeated several times…
Questions:
Are those 100 lb. dumbbells? If so, goddamn. Excellent form.
Is Sam Adams Winter really a high-quality beer? I haven’t had it for a few years, but seem to remember that it made me queasy.
Does being a man’s man include eschewing the use of utensils (e.g. final pic)?
Answers:
Excellent, my Photoshop skills must be improving. Those weights were originally 10 lbs. each and much smaller.
It’s not low-quality, and I happen to like the Sam Adams seasonals.
Good point. I really was using a fork in the last photo, but that doesn’t make it right.
